Strong EA after 2 years of marriage. Need advice.

[Complex]

Problem is they are friends for 6 years and she always had feelings for him, until she met me, then they went away...until they came back. Nothing ever happened because he is married to his job and never asked her out.
This is the scary part because she will never forget him as long as they work together and she will always think she missed out on something.

I told her I'm not sad and mad BECAUSE we are close to getting a divorce, but HOW!! And that she should get her a** over the thoughts that she is hurting me and therefore hiding the truth and lying to me. And that she pretty much f'd it completely up and the way everything happened was ridiculous and even if there is no real relationship anymore and it wasn't meant to be it's a marriage and that will be worked out together, even if it is going down.

I went through so much change already but she doesn't see anything but herself without me. My gut tells me we don't have much of a chance and that it's definitely over.

I understand she was afraid of hurting me, but when she dropped the bomb it was over already. THATS whats so painful. That we never even had a chance to figure things out together, even if that would've lead to the end. The guy in the picture just completely ruined everything and I don't see a solution to that.