You can't tell her what do, you can only tell her what YOUR boundaries are. Have you told her that you are unwilling to live in an open marriage? ARE you unwilling to live in an open marriage?

M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)