Struggling a bit tonight. It was good to se the solicitor, but it's thrown me for a loop too. I feel unsettled.

Part of me just wants to get on with it and file for D now. Bottom line is I don't want to be married to someone who's having a R with someone else.

I'm not sure that I'm a stander, and the thought of another six months of being linked together in the same way isn't appealing.

But I know none of this comes from a calm place, it is all just reaction. How did my M come to a place where H & I haven't spoken for nearly four months? I always thought we were one of the happiest couples around. And I feel I must have had my head in the sand as H became so unhappy with his life, he decided to ask other women out.

I just can't see us ever being happy again after this, and I'm not sure why I'm still trying to save 'us.' Sorry, just negativity from me tonight....tomorrow will be better.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus