...just don't mention ironing, don't do ironing unless absolutely necessary!
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
I get bonus points. TM with WAW about dissolution and she asked a complex question that needed answered ASAP. So I called her. She unloaded on me. Spew flying everywhere. I deflected, validated, STFU, did 180s, GAL, and every other DB technique in the book. She screamed at me for not trusting her and not taking her word for what the clause meant. In the end she gave her attorney permission to talk to me. He called and the clause I was questioning was in fact going to effect my visitation time. Turns out she was wrong, and the clause got changed.
We now have a dissolution we both agree too and she MAY be coming to my office to sign the papers. It's been a long twisting tangled road and I am ready to close the book on this chapter of our lives. After we sign there will be no more negotiating. Negotiations have been well over half of our contact the past few months. Other than her cramming OM down the boys throats, it has been the biggest source of tension and anxiety in my life.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
bdub, (responding to your previous post), the dissolution process makes me nervous, since I too want to move it forward as quickly as possible. I'm also worried about having to convert to a divorce if we can't get on the same page. And a divorce would drag the process out longer, and cost more, and potentially interfere with my plans to move back to my home state. My H is really cheap so I think he will want to avoid the divorce option, but I'm still worried. I have a meeting scheduled for tomorrow with my L to work out a proposal. At this point my feeling is that whatever it costs to extract myself from this crazy man will be worth it...
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Bdub, good luck with the dissolution. And hope that calmer heads prevail. You are doing the right thing by just negotiating out side of court. It may feel like crazy stress, but compared to the normal process you are getting a reprieve.
Me: 35 Her: 33 D : 16 S : 9 Together: 14 years Married: 12 She left 4/14/2014 Separated: 5/25/2014 OM Confirmed 7/2014 She filed 8/7/2014 I Filed 10/21/2014 Divorce final 2/12/2015
The combative nature of divorce drives me crazy. Negotiating was very difficult. There was no good faith or trust. Once I found out about OM and all the lies it became very hard to believe anything she said. She changed the agreement 4 times. In the end, I listed out my priorities and stood firm on my top few and let a few of the others slide.
Looking back at the last few months she has lied about everything from OM to income to stuff about boys to dissolution stuff. She has lied to me, the boys, my parents, her parents, her friends, my friends and even her attorney.
I guess what I am trying to say ahoy is that I too want to get this done as soon as possible.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
Ahoy, one thing that I did learn was to negotiate is short infrequent sessions. WAW is pretty quick to anger and then her anger throws me off track. The successful sessions ended before I lit her fuse.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
