Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD - pt. 2

[gogofo]

Gogo, what do you know to be true right now? What is the reality?

Where can you go from here?

The reality right now is she is sleeping in a separate bedroom, and not wearing her wedding ring. She feels pressured by me to work on our reconciliation. She said she is done, but did not use the work divorce, but that is just me playing semantics to give me some hope. She told me I would be out of the house if we were not currently selling our other home. There is a little tension at times when we are in the same room. We are polite and cordial to each other. She is focusing more on the kids and seems to have reduced her interactions with me.

She has divorce papers that have already been prepared and previously singed that were withdrawn around the beginning of November. When she signed them before she thought she would feel better but then later told me she was still sad and spent the next day crying.

She will leave town tomorrow mid day on a work trip, returns Wednesday night, then leave again Thursday afternoon on a personal trip to return late Sunday evening.

I have a DB Coaching session tomorrow evening.

From here first and foremost I can back the f@#k off and not show any pressure towards her.
I need to focus on me and showing the person only a fool would leave.
I do not need to bring up the relationship again, wait for her to do this if it happens.
I am going to continue to be a great father and husband right now.
I will keep maintaining the cleanliness and order of the house, do laundry, cook meals and clean dishes in order to keep the home as stress free as possible.
I will not look to her for any emotional support or reassurance, I will be a complete person.
I will maintain a road back that is smooth and I will do nothing that shows anger or the need to punish her (I do not feel any of this anyways).
I have also been browsing home listings in the event that I do have to find alternative housing once our home sells.
I will not follow her around the house and I will try to make myself more scarce or occupied. (When first dating she gave me her phone number and I never called. She then called me two days later and was mad thinking that I figured she wasn't good enough.)
I need to focus on me being more manly and having more of a spine and opinion and not so much of the emotional wimp.
I need to display the love and passion I have for everything.

Right now I really feel my only or best plan of action is to maintain and accentuate a reality that does not match her perception. I think this was felt before when she filed and still felt sad and overwhelmed.

I also need to be prepared for the fact that she may be leaving a relationship with someone who cares deeply for her and would be a wonderful addition to anyone's life. I need to keep reminding myself that she would be losing out, not me. I will stand for this M, but will not stand in her way nor help her dissolve it.