I can't afford the school. I could move us and transfer him to another public school but sounds like the public school system there would not be what it is here. This private school I went to see is just too far outside my price range without borrowing a lot of money to get by and then still if something came up and I ran short they could kick us out of school. Besides that I'm also not convinced it would make a significant difference at this point.
I have a plan B but that may mean I don't move and find a less financially rewarding job here. Not the end of the world but who knows what it means.
Anyhow, you are right...I just keep getting irritated by how close we seem these days but still so far away. Ran into W this morning at the gym. She knew I was going today and what time so showing up there meant she knew she would run into me. Waved to each other and chatted briefly before leaving. Spent an hour at her place tonight when I picked up S from W's weekend visit. Her BFF was over and we had a good group hangout. I excused myself when it felt like things were winding down. Wish I could get my mind off her but spending these small times with her just gets me locked in again.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Hi Bunches, I'm sorry things are confused right now. That's a shame about the school. I know you had high hopes for it previously. When do you need to decide for sure what you are going to do?
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
May be best just to do whatever is going to be the plan for S and you. Whilst things may be mixed with your W, she isn't making any reconciliation moves as such...but who knows in the longer term? But not soon enough for your decision.
Is S happy at school where he is? How happy are you where you are living? And with your current work etc? Where does your heart really want to be?
Best of luck Bunches. You're doing really well x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thanks Toots! S is happy with his current school. It was supposed to be a better opportunity but I'm just not sure now. I like my place. I'm really sick of my job, but its hard to argue with what they pay me. I'm thinking it might just be healthier for me to get a new start with my career but that can be a really tough road.
Not sure about my heart. Sometimes I think I know but I second guess a lot. I'll get some direction and then decide I'm moving that way for the wrong reasons. I really wish some days that I could just forget W is even out there so I'd stop twisting in the wind over her. She wants me to 'move on' and 'be happy' she says. Sometimes my biggest trouble is there isn't much I want for myself and it makes it hard to pick a direction like that, for anything.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
