Once you really are able to let go, you won't worry about showing her. She will be able to tell.

I don't know if you have any other relationships you can compare, but maybe in the past when you broke up with a girlfriend and you knew when you really let it go. It no longer rules your life. You will always have a special place in your heart for your W, but it won't be the fury and frustration you experience now. You will be able to separate your life and emotions from being entangled with her drama. Her interactions with you or S12 will not be the dictator it seems to be at the moment.

When a person has inner peace, we seem to be able to sense it.....don't you agree? Just as she is able to know when you are silently angry, she will know when you are at peace.
If I had to use one word to describe how you would feel when you lay that rope down, it would be "peace".

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!