Your description of the drop off sounds...not so good. S4 doesn't seem to be comfortable. You and XW should be working together to help him atdrop off. Its already hard enough for him to understand.
Working with XW, perhaps going inside with them and being civil would work well instead of the scenario you wrote about. What's are you doing for YOU to feel better and become all that you want in your new life?
Peace...
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14