And you hit the nail directly on the head. The icky feeling IS because I felt responsible for his feelings. I do that A LOT!
I know where a lot of this is coming from. I spoke to my little brother about it just the other day and he says he struggles with it, too.
We don't trust our perspective.
We were trying to figure out why that is. Is it because as children our feelings and perspective just did not matter one iota? I don't know but we both seem to give the benefit of the doubt to the other person.
We assume (first mistake there) that the other person's perspective/outlook/feelings are more accurate than our own and we shove down our own instinct to say "that's wrong" or "that's not how it happened" because we're working so hard to see the other perspective.
It's awful. I really want to bring that up to my IC.
Ugh, I love my IC but really it's just me talking. I need to make it less of me going on and on and more digging deeper, getting her HELP. How do I do that?
Today I'm seeing H as a bully. And not because it makes me feel better about my situation to give him an ugly persona.
A person who threatens and terrorizes, pushes boundaries like a spoiled child, belittles and minimizes, lives in a self-righteous world of protection and has ZERO ability to look inward and consider their own faults...
