Just another thought from me. Does your local church or other organisation have any sort of grief support group? It could be a way of meeting others and sharing in a supportive environment. It also gets you away from the house and provides a little structure.
We lost my brother to suicide over 20 years ago, and my parents found some solace in an organisation for parents who had lost children...I can't recall what they were called, and I think they were UK based anyway - but they used to have a yearly conference and things, and members seemes to have established great bonds in their grief.
I think that's a really helpful post from Barely Floating. I don't think your H has much to offer you right now - through his own grief - you need to stop looking to him for now and build your own support networks. You are directing much anger at him, and (whilst I can understand that) I think you need to try and refocus on you.
It must be an awful, awful time for you, and I'm so sorry. It will take time, but things will slowly get better. The main thing is not to despair, and to keep that little kernel of hope - just the size of a sweetcorn kernel right in the bottom of your tummy. That is always there and can take you forwards, one day at a time.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
