As I lay down right now at pretty much midnight I have more hope now than I have had in a couple weeks.
We talked most of the night about absolutely nothing just to talk. She was drinking and that normally means she wants her alone time and to be away from me but we talked then I put the kids to bed and I knocked on the door and she let me in and I mean its hard not to push when you know you can get almost anything you want at that point. She wanted sex at the end and I just moved her legs onto the bed and picked her up and layed her down tucked her in and kissed her on the head and said goodnight I love you.
I might have broken every rule but I showed something she wants thats the man that will not take advantage of her and will take care of her. She wanted me to stay in the bed but I decided against that. Im gonna love her from afar.... man it was the hardest thing I have had to be so determined to not mess up. I left her a note (I know again with the rule breaking) telling her how I feel and it had a songs lyrics wrote on it.
Ok guy crusify me for breaking rules and having no self control. Well if I can feel like that every night I will be happy again.
