Gogofo - no longer piecing 2nd BD - pt. 2

[gogofo]

It's amazing how much time I can find to scan the boards and journal when the W and I have issues. It is showing me how hung up I have been about working on the R instead of going with the flow and relaxing.

This evening was nice, makes me sad, but it was nice. It makes me sad because since this proclamation of feeling done, we seemed to find time to be a family together. I wasn't thinking about work, or chores or cooking a nice dinner since it was Sunday. Imagine that, when stress levels are lowered its easier to enjoy yourself.

I spent the afternoon at my parents and watched 3/4s of a football game with my dad and visited with my parents. Very nice afternoon, also went over for some emotional support from mom.

W was working and I was staying away from the house to try and be home after she got there, but she was still working when I got home. I made the kids a simple dinner and W came home.

She was in a mood she gets in when we have separated before where she grabs the calendar and starts to fill it out with meetings, obligations etc. She also came home with another calendar, presumably for me, but I didn't ask and she didn't bring it up, she even left it face down. When she was finished she looked at it and kind of was dumb struck at the amount of things on it, it is pretty overwhelming.

Neither of us had much of an appetite the last couple of days and the W was staring at the fridge kind of frustrated that nothing sounded good. I suggested a chorizo sandwich and made us a quick dinner. She offered a beer, I excepted, and the kids wanted to watch Dr Who so on came the tv.

So here is the W and I sitting at opposite ends of the couch enjoying Dr Who, and having small talk and enjoying ourselves while the kids were ignoring the tv. Kind of surreal considering the situation. I hope this wasn't lost on my W who recently said she had to ask herself if she felt happy. She seemed to be happy tonight.

We put the kids together and then I went about making myself busy, or at least appearing to be. I didn't follow her around, or engage in much conversation, I just went about my business and read a cookbook on the couch while she did a little more work on the computer for about 30 minutes.

She walked by a couple of times and I never looked up. She told me she was going to bed and went to her bedroom across the house from the master.

The most important thing is that I didn't bring up the relationship and we had a good night. Hope it is food for thought for her. Who knows, only time will tell.

I am proud of myself for doing the STFU tonight, didn't know if I could do it but I did.