The final stages...withdrawal to acceptance

[Rita]

Yes, finding that out is so unbelievably hard. The time it takes, I mean. I mostly don't watch the pot, but he lives with us and sends so many mixed signals that it's hard not to start watching it. On my birthday he left me a beautiful gift, with the table all spread out gorgeously, and a note addressed "to my dearest wife," and it was all about how watching me face a "really hard thing" this year (I assume he means breast cancer and not his MLC) made me the "quintessence of good character." But most of the time he can barely look me in the face, still spewing if I open up even the tiniest door.

And that is interesting that your views have changed. It's funny to have "Cadet" writing to me since I have been reading your posts for so long! And I guess that this was an old one. Do you mean that what we take for withdrawal generally isn't, that we start stirring when they aren't ready?

And can you direct me to a thread that explains "escape and avoid"?

Though sometimes I think reading less is better, just sticking to prayer and patience and making the best life i can for me and my kids. In my case, because we own a business together, I have to navigate his wrecking ball at work too!