One just doesn't say to the spouse that they're moving on because as we say sometimes "talk is cheap." When one truly moves on, it is done through actions. Remember how you've moved on from your middle school or high school GF? Exactly.
Back to the letter, from my vantage point of view sitting in my comfy perch, I see a mixture of blaming, pleading, and overly focused on the negatives. Another concern is that, by sending it now, it would come across as manipulative to W with the full knowledge that you two are at loggerheads about the house and settlement. It will most definitely rub her the wrong way and just rile her up.
If I were you, if you really want to send a letter to W, I'd wait until everything is agreed to and a forward movement toward a settlement is firmed up. Only then you might want to send the letter to her.....with changes. I wouldn't send it as it stands.
Methinks that you're being driven by anxiety and unsettling feelings to write that Hail Mary letter to W. To me, for one to write a letter to the spouse, you must be completely done and accept the situation as it is. As you pointed out, you want to continue standing for your M.
This tells me that you're not completely done. Right?
