Ugh, I hate that icky feeling that I get sometimes that comes from confusion and insecurity after a talk with H.
Don't worry... it wasn't a R discussion.
We met at Starbucks because he missed D and wanted to see her just for a quick hug. We got to talking about D's upcoming testing. He asked me how much it was estimated to cost. I told him. He seemed irked and I told him it was pretty standard. He went on to talk about how much he thinks psychologists are a racket and they just want to take people's money and they're happy to keep you coming back week after week just to collect your money and how I was falling into their trap by pursing that with D.
I was confused. He was FINE about testing D a month ago when we first talked about it. He was even fine about it two weeks ago when I was finishing up the application. I emailed the application in and CC'd him and he still said nothing. Now he apparently feels like it's a racket.
He stated that he felt like I was happy to spend "his" money for no true direction for D when it's something she would likely outgrow in puberty.
He went on to talk about how he hated that D was in a private school and that she should be in public school which wouldn't cost "him" any money and she'd likely be "fine".
I reminded him that WE agreed to put her in private school because our local schools are not that good and she needs a much smaller class size than can be provided in the local public schools.
He said, "Oh she'll be fine".
How quickly he forgets.
And apparently I'm all about spending "his money".
He went on to indicate that he was a much more involved father now because *I* wasn't in the way to keep him from being one.
oh really? Did I keep him from driving D to school? Did I keep him from picking her up? Did I prevent him from knowing her teachers name, her social troubles, knowing what piano piece she's working on? Did I keep him from being involved in her extracurricular activities? Did I keep him from helping with homework? Did I keep him from making her meals? Did I keep him from putting her to bed, talking with her, learning what her favorite things are?!
I owned a lot in that conversation. Nothing about our relationship because that's not what the discussion was about but I tried to be level headed about our collective approach to D's testing. He didn't budge at all. No compromise. No give at all.
His opinion I listened to. His view point, his perspective.
He listened to mine as well. But then very soon thereafter belittled it, condemned it and basically affirmed that it was silly, naive and overly trusting.
These are things I've NEVER been accused of before in my entire life.
He owed up to nothing. He copped to nothing. He admitted to nothing.
Nothing.
My fault for not allowing him to be an involved parent? Talk about rewriting history.
All this "wrongness" would have put me into a tailspin last month. Now? Now I'm just confounded. Seriously confused and unsure what to think. What to do.
His perspective is so skewed! I can't set him straight, I know that. His perspective is his perspective but he seriously believes all these horrible things about me that just aren't true.
