Db'd after W D me in 04 remarried W in 07 DB again

[Jbird]

W watched two footballs with me again today in my bedroom. She is still dizzy from missing six doses of Xanax, but was teasing and joking around with me.

Then she wanted to go over the bills so she knows how to pay them when I'm gone. I haven't decided if I am leaving or not yet, but that is her plan. She became stressed because of the amount of bills she will have and the reduced income. I stayed composed through the whole process, but I had a lot of anxiety. I took a break without her realizing I had anxiety. Then the last bill was Victoria Secrets and I said some things I shouldn't have. I have to learn to keep my mouth shut when I have bad thoughts. Most of her Victoria Secret wardrobe was purchased as gifts for her over the last year by me. I said, "I can't handle you wearing my gifts for someone else!" I know backsliding at its worst!"

I'm going to find a C this week and I will ask for help with my temper, self esteem and healing from the infidelity. Little items, but I will shave my goatee off, get a short haircut to do a minor 180. Iron shirts and get out of the house wearing a tie.