So I havent contacted her in well over 24 hours this is the best I have done. She contacted me last night but thats the last time I talked to her and im wondering if she is gonna come home today she left friday night and its sunday afternoon this is the longest she has been away from the kids in a long time. I wonder what she is thinking right now.
Well anyways I have seriously been cleaning all day watched football with the kids and cleaned some more. The house is alot better than when I got home on friday night. The kids got into glitter and it was all over the house and I have got like 90% of that in the trash now and that was an accomplishment in its self.
So she comes home almost crying..... she says she left her friends and the little group of friends she was hanging out with..... tells me that some people accused her of sleeping around. I dont know if its all true but she doesnt seem to be very happy. It hurts to stay away from her right now. What should I be doing?
Like I told her im here if she needs anyone to talk to or help with anything at all.
She is also talking about moving to florida instead of staying here now.I think she just needs to go to counseling and get her head on her shoulders again, but I cant tell her that. Man I just dont know what I can do for her she is the one pushing me away and not giving me a chance to fix my problems and to help her fix hers should I go try to talk to her after the kids go to bed?
I just need some advice it kinda seems like a good time to get on some kind of level playing field.
As I lay down right now at pretty much midnight I have more hope now than I have had in a couple weeks.
We talked most of the night about absolutely nothing just to talk. She was drinking and that normally means she wants her alone time and to be away from me but we talked then I put the kids to bed and I knocked on the door and she let me in and I mean its hard not to push when you know you can get almost anything you want at that point. She wanted sex at the end and I just moved her legs onto the bed and picked her up and layed her down tucked her in and kissed her on the head and said goodnight I love you.
I might have broken every rule but I showed something she wants thats the man that will not take advantage of her and will take care of her. She wanted me to stay in the bed but I decided against that. Im gonna love her from afar.... man it was the hardest thing I have had to be so determined to not mess up. I left her a note (I know again with the rule breaking) telling her how I feel and it had a songs lyrics wrote on it.
Ok guy crusify me for breaking rules and having no self control. Well if I can feel like that every night I will be happy again.
No 2x4s buddy this is hard stuff. You do what you think is working. If she was intoxicated she probably wont remember anything you did or said. See how she reacts today
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I will try to address some of the other issues, but first ..........am I understanding this right? She is 24 yrs old and has 4 babies. Are they all your children? The first two were barely a year apart and then she had kids every two years. The girl did not have a chance to grow up before she was raising a house full of children. Why so many so fast?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Ok so yes we have been together for about 9 years and yes they are all ours. I understand she did not get to "live" her life the way she thought she would. We both gave up alot but she resents me for giving up less she feels. Well kinda just happen I guess but im fixed now and cant have anymore.
So she definitely remembers everything she has been pretty happy in the text she wrote me. I will wait till she says something because after the rule breaking last night, I feel I need to take a step back and reassess the sitch. We both had a great time last night.
More on her back ground yes she is 24 and I feel like this is somewhat of phase she is going thru... but what do I do to help her? Do I just sit back and let her ruin everything now? Im tring to fix myself and my counseler says im making great progress that im a resilient man. Truthfully im trying not to beat myself till she talks to me tonight when I get off work.
Ok so the rules are right if you go against them you lose.....
She is mad and things are not looking good I will have to gal and stop talking to her I guess I actually have to go full on dark. Im staying at a friends tonight but tomorrow I will be back in the house.
My kids were pissed when I left. Atleast she got up and did some cleaning.
So by her acting this way does that mean she still has feelings? Omg I cant stop I need to not think about her and think about someone else like myself......
