Game Point 2

[tryingtilDorR]

I thought about the site because I was cleaning out my closet and found about 30 marriage and self-help books I read when going through my ordeal. I remember how theraputic it was to be able to write here about what was going on.

Its been almost 2 years since I posted here. I have been looking over some of my old threads and it is kind of like reading about a different life I lived through that was very challenging and difficult - the most difficult time in my life.

The stress and pain were almost unbearable and there was a lot of collateral damage - I was fired from 2 different jobs during this time but luckily landed on my feet and my kids went through a lot as well. My daughter was only a freshman in HS when WAW started her relationship with OM and she knew about it from overhearing us argue. I think this was all very damaging to her. I had 3 other kids as well at home.

Losing the 2nd job actually had a positive impact on the divorce settlement in my favor, so in some ways I view it as God's will. HE reached out and helped me through the process and helped me move my life forward once HE gave me the sign that WAS was lost and I needed to let go. I truly believe that. I spent a lot of time waiting for W to change their direction, and at some point realized that even God can't make people make the right choices.

I know many of you are in the middle of it now, but know that it will get better with or without your spouse. Most of all keep your dignity and try to shield your kids from whatever is happening as best you can. WAS usually operates without much consideration for others, including the kids, and only will later be able to look back and objectively realize what impact they are having so think clearly for their sake, since WAS is NOT in most cases.

I have been remarried now for 2.5 years. Again, I also feel meeting my wife was a small miracle that God had a hand in as part of helping me to move forward once I gave in to Him. We are very happy. The silver lining here is that I am probably happier and more content than I have ever been, outside of the years with my 1st wife raising our kids when we were a happy family and WAW wasn't going through her crisis.

No matter how happy I am now though I STILL would go back if I could and keep my family together and avoid divorce - it wasn't my choice but I moved on once I gave in. I mention above that WAW wanted to come back later but it was long after I really disengaged and had moved on. she had been moved out of house for about 6 months and I was well on my way to starting a new life with someone else.

No matter how happy I am personally now, I am still sad about what my kids went through living through a separation/divorce. I know my ex-W has a ton of regrets still to this day about what she did and still tells people that she wouldn't go through with it again (having a BF, moving out, etc) if she had the chance to go back in time. I did everything I could during that time, so now I can move forward with clear conscience. Get yourself to that place no matter which way the situation goes.