afraid I have waited too long #5

[nit84]

well I must be getting closer to dropping the rope.

I wrote my LR letter to me W this morning. I am not sending it right now or maybe never but I wrote it.

W,
I am writing this letter to let you know I know that you are done with our Marriage and have been for some time. You are moving on with your life by and in the choices you have made. Our Marriage is one that I thought would last a lifetime unfortunately that isn't the case anymore. Throughout our Relationship both dating and married, I have done things that have hurt you.

-Bringing up your past or your family's behavior
-not helping around the house enough
-drinking or wanting you to go out even through you were sick.
-only bringing up our problems when I drank
-holding my feelings and not communicating them to you
-negative attitude and impatience
-not fixing up the house when you asked.
-not taking into account your feelings about children and waiting to long to ask you to start a family.
-doing things that you thought were controlling(too many to mention)

For all the above I ask your forgiveness because I know they have wounded you deeply from what you have told me.

Despite how unhappy you have been in our relationship your 16 year commitment has been remarkable. Although, I don't believe Divorce is a solution to our problems I love you and respect you enough to let you go if that is what you choose.

As painful and difficult as this situation has been the silver lining is that it has been a wake up call to the person I want to be either alone or in a future relationship.

This was really hard for me to write. I want to stand for my M but it takes two and at the moment it is just one.

Maybe I am still being too emotional after the hearing and feeling sorry for myself.