barely holding on - 7

[u-turn]

So I've got signs that things are going well - if I ignore the signs that things aren't going so well.

I was running the kids around yesterday and last night (swim meets, dinner, friends houses). When I finally came home to relax, W was asleep on the couch in front of the TV. Not unusual as she is still sick or sick again. She woke up and went to bed. I still had to stay up because I had to go back out and pick up the kids.

This morning, she told me she wanted to ask me to lay on the couch with her but didn't know what I would say.

I told her that I didn't know and that I am confused by all of this.

She said she knows - and that's why she didn't ask. She teared up a little.

She told me that she is confused too. She also said that she "threw it all away and she doesn't want to throw it all away".

She knows that I am still unsure of everything. I know she is confused too.

I want to re-visit this by telling her that she can clean this all up if she chose to. I think she knows that I can forgive her and move forward, but I really don't think she is getting beyond OM.

Today - a little GAL - going to meet my brother to watch football and meet his new wife. (strange story there)

Carry on!