So if she wants to go negative or tries to engage me in a fight, I quickly exit the conversation without reacting or participating and refuse to bring it up or discuss it (as to not reinforce it). Then she will be unable to tie any negative interaction with me or the marriage in her memory banks because I did not take part, but the positive interactions get "rewarded", for lack of a better term, anchoring positive memories. For both of us. That makes this a win/win. The more positive interactions that build up, the less ammunition is in reserve for future fights. This then becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of positive and happy. Geeze, it seems so simple and obvious when I type it out in print.
I think Peter or Devaste mentioned a similar technique or rewarding positive communication they had used in the past.
Feeling dumb, but enlightened.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
