It's a very hard one... to all of us to give any advice. She does not talk about R/M but is daily being married to you. She wants to be independent but needs your guidance. She has to prove herself worthy but needs almost like your approval.
Well, I will try. Somewhere along your W behavior I can see myself. I was a stay home mom and even being a strong person, I develop this habit of always seeking H advice, almost like an approval of what I was doing.
I was just unsure of what was right or wrong for me and despite of this, I also want the attention and caring.
My insecurities and fear made me very dependent and I am now learn that this dependency is not good for me. One of my M problems is that I always want my H to make me happy and he couldn't keep my happiness. I was the one to be responsible for my own happiness and I did not know how.
So, maybe for your sitch and the distance that you have right now, it will be better to be a friend but present in her life. I don't know if it is the best thing in all R, but you are not close physically and does not have any children to connect you. So, I would give more time and keep doing what you are doing. Keep some distance in your answers. Almost like she feels she is loosing you, but not 100%.
You telling your problems. I think that as long as you don't list all your issues at once, then it's not the end of the world to tell her something. She knows you are still a human being. Maybe keep yourself strong and choose what you want to share with her. Try not to be a victim, you don't want her to feel like you are the priority here.
The dogs issues are great. She likes and know them, so you being worried about their well being is nice to share with her. Maybe you can ask her opinion. In some ways she will feel you care about her opinion. And it is not about you.
Just a tough. It's hard when the WAS is all friendly. My H was all like that, calling, texting, visiting, being close. But last week I asked him to back off. In my case, he tells me he loves me one day and talks about D settlement next day. So, sorry but I need to breath and learn how to live without you. But your situation is different. So try a little longer.
