Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #5

[HPoirot]

Hello everyone. I know I have a lot of homework and questions to do from previous posts. I promise to get to them as they are very important to my progress.

I kind of took the day off today. I spent a lot of time reading the Denver_2010 thread. I highly recommend it to us dealing with WAW in As.

Here's the full thread list...

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rted&page=4

It is full of incredible wisdom, a screaming angry WAW, horrible fights, breaking and entering, confronting OM sitting on the toilet, U2, protecting a child from the sitch and more.

And it's a success story over one year long.

Reading it has helped me refocus on all the literally $1,000,000 advice I've been blessed to get here.

The thread shows everything I've been through... from initial denial, dealing with anger, confrontations, the difference between punishment and boundaries, acting as if, standing up to spew, everything. And then it shows how doing all that turned out for Denver.

Very very educational to see how advice from the vets here worked out over the long term.

So I'm going to sleep on all this and come back tomorrow rededicated to living life instead of living this sitch 24 hours a day.

As for W... she promised to not bother me and S12 today after her meltdown last night.

So, naturally... first thing this morning text from W. She asks to spend lunch and the afternoon tomorrow with S12. Tomorrow, Sunday, is my day.

I am doing a 180... being really prompt and extremely polite with communications. I understand that my being polite can influence her to be more polite.

I respond... "Good morning W."

Then I wait.

"Hi there. How is S12?"

"He's in good spirits. How are you?"

"I am good. And you? Happy to hear he is well."

"I'm fine thanks. S12 said he'd think about Sunday. I'm fine with it."

"ok. Thanks. Just let me know."

I then mention the broken heater at her aunt's house. If they we're OK.

She says "We are fine. Lot's of space heaters. Should be fixed today. Thanks for asking."

Then maybe I pushed it.

I say... "OK good. Have a good day then. I know last night was very hard. If you want to talk I'll listen."

Reply... "Yes I think talking will be good. I will text you later and we can talk." (She never did.)

She then asks if I have any plans for spring break. She offers to help with that. We have not talked about spring break since November.

I say... "How would you feel if S12 and I took a trip to X?"

While she was gaslighting me, she was planning a family trip for all of us (as she always did). Now, I'm going to plan it myself and go with S12.

After a long bit she says... "Not a problem. He would love it."

I say "thank you. Have a good day."

She says "You too."

So... I am committed to letting go of my little boy anger and just getting on with moving on. I'm still in early days and there's no chance for R unless I really become better me now today.

So... only cordial, confident, upbeat, on the move HP from now on. I will radiate an attractive positive energy no matter what.

I may even do some new clothes shopping tomorrow to kick that off.

In a good mood. Even positive about my R.

Onwards.