Barrybran - A Year On

[Barrybran]

Journaling:

My wife is in town and stopped by home just now. I wasn't expecting to see her at all this weekend but she came to grab something and I happened to be home. I have been talking about the move with my kids and I floated the idea of my son spending one-on-one time with myself and my wife as he has missed out on this with the girls growing up and him starting school. He mentioned it in front of my wife today and she grilled me about it when she saw me.

She feels as though she's out of the loop. I get that. I have tried to include my son in things as he's getting older and understanding more. My wife took offence that I discussed it with him before her. I'm getting frustrated by the giant stone wall she's put up. It gets us nowhere. I told her I don't feel that I can approach her with anything and that it's easier to wait until she's ready to talk about things before I discuss them. I really hate her attitude at the moment and it makes me not want to move. That's not fair on the kids though and I'll go ahead with the move because it's the right thing to do. I just wish she would cool the f*** down though.

Oddly enough, I haven't missed her recently. I've felt at peace with her not being around. Yes, the same old line from me applies in that she's my wife, I want things to work out and I believe they can. She's making things damn hard though and I feel more in control of my life without her around than I do with her around. This is a good thing. I do wish she'd get off the "moving forward with my life" train though because it's not getting anyone anywhere; it's just creating more trust issues and creating a bigger divide as opposed to dropping the attitude and working together as a team.

I'm due to take the kids up to her town next Sunday and right now, I'm not sure I want to. Again, I will do it because it's the right thing to do but I won't be putting up with negative behaviour for three days. I've come too far for that.