My dear MCS, you are hurting, I see you, I feel your pain... We could be brothers, you and me, similar ages, our respective Ws similar age, our children similar ages, I too have a D(5) and a S(3)and my W also left. My BD was 2 months earlier than yours.
Let her go, she has to go sort her $hit out. There is nothing you can do to help. Do not try to understand her, you can't so don't even try. But DO lawyer up. Keep a detailed record of her actions and conversations and gather as much evidence you can. But do not snoop, it really will do you no good, and you will feel terrible. You have to protect your interests, financial and other (esp the kids). Do not try to use the kids to get trough to her... It will not work, but you have figured that one out yourself...
DETACH, GAL, 180 and be the best dad in the world for your kids. Don't think about your W, she currently does not give a rat's derrier about you.
IMHO you do have to get some sort of court protection for your kids, she must not be allowed do issue threats using the kids as weapons against you. LAWYER UP, protect yourself. Do not count on her kindness or whatever. She is not the same person you knew, this person now you do not know, and trust me, you do not want to know!
I would bring up the issue with the kids at mediation and stated my boundries. She cannot behave like this, you are their father, you do have rights! Don't get shafted. Again, do not count on her to do the right thing, she will not. Always have a backup plan in she stands you out. Do not call her, do not text her, do not email her, the only exception being the kids.
It will get better, I promise you, just focus on you and your kids, try to live like she is a neighbor. Be civil, but nothing more. Always have your game face on, let her wonder why you are happy (even if you are not). Do not show feelings around her, if you are overwhelmed, cry in private, tears do wash and clean your soul. Stay busy and keep your mind off her. She is not worth your brain power. I am sure you have a ton of stuff you always wanted to do. Guess what, now you have the time. Go do stuff. Being single in a refreshing change after 15yrs. It will feel weird at first, but I am loving it now. Movies for 1? Why not? Having a beer too many with friends from time to time? Why not? The battle axe is not around to give you a hard time... Liberate your soul, the hurting does no one any good. She will not just snap out of it, she will not come running to your arms tomorrow. Now that you have time, analyze your shortcomings in the M and own your $hit as well. I know you were not the perfect H. Admit it to yourself, own your $hit, forgive yourself and improve yourself. Become the guy only an idiot would leave. If your wife does not recognize the new you, some other lucky woman will.
And to wrap it up, go to joelosteen.com, go under messages and have a look at the video release control. 30 minutes you will not regret. Go now, do, BE!
