I am so proud of you. You are so mature for such young person. I feel you have so much ahead of yourself.
Life is strange, sometimes we learn through pain, sometimes that same pain show us a different path that bring us even more of what we really like and makes us happier.
You are doing great. It's very understanding and very normal to feel some sadness as you move forward, on. It wouldn't be normal if you just don't feel anything.
I am somewhat following your footsteps, and Maybell, in finding "the bucket list" and make the most of my life right now, finding that other self that needs to enjoy life.
Thanks for being my inspiration, you are an awesome person, I pray that life you treat you well and as you go new horizons will make you happier.