Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #5

[HPoirot]

Start loving yourself, stop blaming everything else for the gaps you have inside your heart, your soul. It all B****t, the I will be graceful, understanding, cordial, I will be a great dad, I will talk to God. You are running in circles because you can't find your center core, you can't find yourself, you probably don't even know who you are at the moment.

Please HP, you know it't time to address those issues inside yourself. You need to come clean and everything will fall into place in your life. Stop hurting the ones you want to love. Stop pushing away the ones you want closer. YOU ARE DOING THIS... we can all see it, it is time you see it too.

Hello Pink. Thank you so much for your amazingly thoughtful post. It is very kind of you to support me.

I'm going to read it a few more times to let it really sink in. You are right that I have work to do on myself. My IC will start on my anger next session. I'm also reading a lot and learning.

As for self love... yes I'm hurting there. I'm hard on myself and mostly feel great about myself when things are going great or I've done something great.

Last night I thought I did OK at the gym. I know W didn't come to speak to me likely b/c I act like and feel like I want nothing to do with her. I'm working to change that as much as I can while dark my being cordial and empathetic from now on. I thought I was doing that at the end of last night y asking how she was and asking S12 to say goodnight to her. I'm really committed to doing cordial and re-building the connection.