You are an inspiration to me right now. I'm supposed to have a talk with H today, and I am preparing myself. Reading your experience has helped me find some perspective.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
Good for you Mabes! I know that was tough to hear some of that, not sure I want to know details of my H's past. At least now you can move forward. Stay strong! (())
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
Denied he'd cheated before, until I pressed him about "anything inappropriate" -- as though the one night stands didn't count.
Maybell, why did you feel the need to press him on this? Just because you wanted the bigger picture, because hearing more betrayal would help you detach, or...? I know it was important to you, and I'm glad you did it and that he was honest. I'm just trying to imagine myself asking the same questions, and I can't. I don't know that I want to know. And I don't think he'd ever answer anyway. I admire how you handled all this, and I'm thinking that because I can't do the same I have some more growing to do.
Hi Maybell. I wanted to stop by because I love your posts to SS.
You wrote to SS that grace had nothing to do with it. I disagree with you there.
I think you live your words. I think you are true to you. To me, there is no greater proof of grace than that.
That was a difficult conversation, but, you were ready for it as best you can be.
Let it all sit for awhile.
I think your h needs to see this through.
I know this isnt what you wanted. I also know that you will continue to handle it with the grace and courage and dignity you have been throughout this.
You are an extraordinary woman, M. Smart, funny, insightful.
Take care of you in the next few days. When you are ready, get back on your path.
No one knows what the future holds, except that it holds you.
Thank you, everybody. UR, you made me cry. I appreciate it a lot. I'm just doing the best that I can.
RPP, I wasn't intending to ask him that question. But when he said, "I can't see a path back for us, I don't know what else to do," I had this moment where I thought, well, I can think of SEVERAL things we *could* do... is it worth putting that out there? And I thought about the things I've been thinking about and posting here, and I thought, It matters why he gave himself permission to cheat. So I asked the question. I pressed him because I could see he wasn't being honest and I had promised myself I wouldn't let him get away with that.
It hurts to know he had the two ONS, but it also makes my story a little clearer to me. I can see better now that it really WASN'T about me at all. That knowledge helps.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Maybell, I just want to say that I think you killed it, and it sounds like your head is in the right spot. Just remember to let the emotions happen
So he just made his first guy friend in 10 years? That, to me, is almost more telling than the cheating. You have definitely done your share of introspection during this process, and that is what you should celebrate. Your WAH probably needs DB/IC more than you have, though.
Keep moving, Maybell
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
Card, he had work buddies and the husbands of my friends, but nobody who was just his friend in ten years. And he'd get mad at me for suggesting that might be an issue.
Now that so much is coming to light I'm wondering how I accepted so much as normal.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
My h is pretty much a lone wolf type. No frieds that aren't realtives or customers or connected to his fave charity.
Part of the reason why I think the paranoid behaviour and delusions of granduer make him a narc or heading that way. He would project stuff like unemtional dessert on to me as faults.
Family say that's untrue. It's why I get so upset like so many when things in the past with family went legal and now with h it's also legal but I'm handling it better.
It still makes me not sleep it still is making me lose weight but it's not killing me like the early parts. And mayb ist not killing you.
It's making us better for it.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
