HP, On some level we all want things to be like they were so we try and create situations that will make those memories reoccur. You said yourself that wife used to comfort S12, that was then and this is now. You cannot force the reactions out of her nor have expectations that they will be the same as they always have been. You are simply setting yourself up for disappointment.
Figure out how to help your S12 on your own, does not sound to me like you are going to get a great deal of support in that and if she keeps yelling at him you will eventually have to step in and put yourself in a very bad position. If she decides at some point to change her attitude and understand that your S12 needs her to be a loving model instead of a $%@# that is on her.
