Lou, Your brother is right...slow down and take it one day at a time. Yes, you need to find a job, but give yourself a little bit of time to wind down from the move and the holidays. Something will come along when you least expect it.
I'd like to say this, your h may appear to be having the time of his life, but it's a façade. As for the ow, it's not passion, she is just "new", nothing more, nothing less. Sure he's doing things, but I can assure you, once the shine has worn off whatever he's doing, it will become boring, etc. He's trying to recreate his youth and we all know that you can't go back in time w/o consequences. So, even though he appears to be having the time of his life, certainly wouldn't want to be walking in his shoes. I'd rather see you create your own life and adventures and still be rational then in fantasyland because the coaster will eventually crash for him and then what does he have? He will have spent his money, the ow may or may not still be w/him, if he marries her, well, they may eventually resent each other and yes, he will have lost the best things that were in his life, i.e., you, the relationship and family. So, please do not be fooled by appearances.
Have you given any thought to doing some volunteer work at the local hospital or senior citizen's home? Maybe volunteer at the local library or school? These would not only provide you w/some activities to keep you busy, but also give you experience as well.
Take care of yourself and please try not to rush the process. You are grieving and it does take time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
