As always, you are spot on! I have been seeing a counselor since the first wk we were separated--but thanks for the tip. I have also read DR and may pick up DB, too. After my W's text about me leaving our house, I did respond in a confident way that I've moved on with my life--with our without her. That's something new for me.
You have an excellent point: "Explaining is justifying, which is reasoning, which is off limits."
I will continue to work on making myself a better person, especially working on self-esteem issues. I believe that had a ,ot to do with the mess we are in. I felt guilty about not being able to help my W more and a few other things which were no fault of mine at all. In the process, I believe I took it out on my W, not realizing it at the time.
The hardest part of this is living apart, not having spoken in about 5 weeks, and only ocassional texts.
As I mentioned above, I know I can improve myself and will never give up on that--for me. But, honestly, I still love my W and wish she can see the changes. Other than not pestering her with calls/texts like I used to weeks ago, I'm not sure how she'll be able to tell if I've made positive, lasting changes.
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
