Well I have started going to counseling and the first thing they told me is I have to start loving myself again and to forget what she is doing now and to remember that I am an intelligent young man and there are a lot of women out there that would love to be with me.
So I have started to hit the gym pretty hard ive already dropped 15 lbs and I have been making her jealous because the kids have been really happy when I come home because I play with them nonstop and thats something that I had been neglecting and im changeing that.
She is gone for the weekend she has a guy friend that is in her group of friends and I meet him tonight. He seems ok but I just am haveing a real hard time with it right now. Anyways I didnt let it phase me I kept smileing and said goodbye and have a good time.
Ive changed how I listen to her I can repeat back to her ever word she has said to me in the last 5 days. Im being alot like I was when we first meet, and it feels good to have a good outlook on life once again.
I have started to makke plans without her and I see it bugs her because im taking the kids over to a friends house to play with his kids while we watch football. Im also taking them to the park and even taking our dogs to the dog park. I just have to keep busy to change and start to be the busy person I used to be I was happy then and it wasnt just becuase of her.
So I guess im doing the whole indepent thing and the whole im the greatest dad in the world and that is what I want to keep about the things I have changed to this point. Im so happy with the amount of time I get with my kids right now. She doesnt sleep at home anymore but she comes and takes care of the kids during the day. Im ok with that because she sees me playing with the kids and how the kids are happy with me.
This has effected my 2 older boy in their school life. Their teachers said this was their best week ever. They wonder where mom is all the time but I just tell them she loves them and she will be home later. I hate that part I feel she should have to explain to them what she is doing abandoning them so she can go and party her life away.
Im not god so I will let them have their own relationship with her. I miss her and I have a hard time detaching still I feel like I ask too many questions but I want to do something next its our anniversary and I have a feeling she will say no. I asked her if I could plan something for us when we get income tax just me and her. She said as long as its not romantic. I was a little bummed but I have ideas. But this is pursueing and I know I shouldnt be doing this..... its just our anniversary and I want to spend it with the woman I love.
