I thought everything was okay.....(Part 3)

[MCS]

Thanks guys, it just made me feel a little bit better. I tried an experiment tonight and it din't come out as planned. I guess that's why they call it an experiment.

So, I've put as much DB aside as possible right now, because our communication about the kids is so abysmal. I told W at counseling (mediation) that I'm not comfortable with our communication about kids and hope we can improve it. So, I ran into an opportunity today to take the first step and its seems like it was a fail (not total, but close)

So, I found out I need to travel next week just an overnight trip. Our schedule has been pretty firm with the kids (my doing) with weeks with me and weekends with her. As you know, I said that I'm good with opening up some weeknights for her, but not comfortable with full week on/week off.

So I figured I could use this trip as an opportunity. My parents live hours away, so I checked to see if they could watch the kids, if needed. Also, W and I said if others would watch the kids, we would inform the other person. So, with this I figured that W wanted some time, I didn't want to 'ask' her to watch the kids, but give her the opportunity to maybe soften up our schedule and start working it out between us. Also, we've been to one line emails for kids exchange status, so I added some more depth into what happened with them this week and a couple other things. Anyway, here's how an excerpt of how the email went:


MCS Email:
I am planning on being out of town to XXX on Jan. XX. I've checked with my parents and they can come down to watch the kids. Just making sure that's okay with you. I'll get you the hotel I'll be at once its scheduled in case there's any emergencies.

W Email:
I will have the kids with me while you are away. I will pick them up XX from school/daycare and keep them through Monday morning. The day with no school is not a problem.

**********
Really? Not a question or a can I? So anyway. MCS still calm and decides to call W. I sent her an email to notify her that I would like to call (A request of hers) So she picks up the phone.
**********


MCS
"I got your email back. Sorry, I just found out today. I just would like to say that you asked if you can have school days. I didn't want to ask you to watch the kids, that's not your responsibility when their with me, but I'm glad that you would like to.

W
"You said that we should let each other know if there are babysitters for the kids."

MCS
"Yes, that's why I sent you the email, I just found out about the travel today. I just want to let you know that I'm trying to improve our communication about the kids and your response back telling me that you are going to take them through the end of your normal time rubbed me the wrong way. (I lose my day on Friday with them as its a day off from school) I understand what you would like, but I'd like to talk through it a little and see if maybe I could take them for a day or something"

W
"We can talk about that at counseling (mediation) anything else?"

MCS
"Sorry, I didn't realize that we had a counseling (mediation) session between when I would leave, I guess we can talk then"

W
"Yep, goodbye"

_____
So, I tried to extend the olive branch to see if we can make this a little smoother and it failed. I guess, she did actually pick up the phone and offer to take the kids without me asking her. That's a win, I guess.