May your new year be

[Ggrass]

Thinks it's why I'm so tired atm and yesterday really negative. Sometimes numb, which was how this whole things started, but most importantly I have been feeling far more at peace proof since the health things that were bugging me went away, like the wart healing.

The whole fighting for my stuff is important as I let far too much ground go already. I think h considers if I don't fight for my stuff then, I still love him no matter what. Therefore he can treat me in what ever fashion he likes. He has no dare I say conscience to return stuff, I have had to push him 100%, things that are of no use to him eg my half worn out chain saw chain that he could have returned months ago, he also called lost and blamed his son.

Hence the contacting s17 father and delibetaly asking for contact after being told repeatedly no. He expects we will eventually juts allow him walk over rights, cause it's easier than standing up to his repeatedly disrespecting our bounderies. It's pretty much how he gets in the door to abuse. Constantly pushing your ideas down the slope.

So very gently you never saw it happen. It is something I need to keep reminding me of and I know I sound like a cracked record, but if I don't keep it front of mind I get pushed over and completely taken advantage of at my own hand.

I think my biggest victory is standing firm and learning how to do that in a nicer way, not having to scream and yell. Althought when someone disrespected things that are stated, it's easy to then be trained to keep using the anti.

People in general don't see the what happens before someone goes ballistic or to police.
One of my regrets was I didn't make the assult official laywer wants to see proof of charges.

It becomes a he said she said type of thing. While I do have some credible witnesses who can perhaps write statements. I know what child says is true because h when things are true refuses to admit them. Later on re writting history when he can cast doubt in your mind.

He seems to want me to keep harping to keep raising the issues even with a l?
So don't undertsand that as it will create a very clear legal trail, I'm not sure what h has to gain?

My L has said this will more than likely go against him. He has been offered to exchange stuff at any time, h has been told how he can contact to arrange collection of items.

As was told here when I turned up to collect my stuff he had lost several of the items others he said were available every excuse in the book. It was just another occasions for him to berate me. In which he needed validation, me soothing him etc. rather than complete the task at hand.

All things considered he hates me, wanted the r over for 4 years wanted it all yesterday I fail to understand it has me shaking my head why he refuses to just make offers of settlement as a normal human would.

Oh yeah right, narcs are far from normal they just want to hold up smoke and mirrors, which is totally what is happeing.