Wife Walked Away 10 Weeks Ago

[Bob723]

Hi 25yearsmlc,

First, I have a signature finally! Your post 2 back, I could see how, but you misunderstood this statement:

If my wife were here, she was say I became very argumentative, needy and I smothered her. Looking back, I agree with her. of course (except for the arguments) I thought I helping her!

What I meant by that ^^^^ was that I felt I was helping her - not being "needy and smothering." Looking back on my post, I should've said I agree with all. The more I think about it, I had become more argumentative. You are vert thought-provoking!

My wife's MS is the relapsing/remitting kind. So, sometimes she'll feel pretty good, other times very poor.

Do you, or anyone here, thinj I should send a text (we haven't talked in 5 wks) to my wife indicating I may have expected too much from her? With time to think about it, I realize her condition will probably not get better but that doesn't frighten me or hold me back?

One of the last times we spoke, she said "I don't feel great about this (the divorce) but I feel relieved knowing I'm not letting you down." I listened, and then very calmly said, "I thought I was supportive and understood." That was weeks ago.

A big thing occurred 2 days ago. My wife texted me and asked if I could leave the house for about 1 week. She clearly said, no, you cannot be there. She's coming in for a medical procedure and the doctor needs to see her in about 1 week. I thought about it for a while, and then texted, "please call me if you want to discuss this." The message didn't get delivered, so I knew she already turned her phone off. So, trying to show I have some dignity I texted her back basically stating she only seems to contact me when she needs something. I also reminded her that she is welcome back any time and I will not bring up anything about our situation. (By the way, my lawyer says I should *NOT* leave.)

So, about 3:00 AM the next morning, I get this text from her:

"Not necessarily, I've called you to offer support on you going to counseling and with regard to 7 Bridges (P.S. that's the hockey coaching gig). It would appear you haven't changed much at all. That's what I thought."

We haven't been in touch since. I had coaching sessions with Chuck and he impressed on me the 2 common feeling WAWs have:
1. I know my husband.
2. He's never going to change.

So, I realize I shouldn't have accused her of only contacting me when she needs something. I feel I have bent over backwards for her when she has asked me to send her something from our home (she's 3 1/2 hrs away), wanted a little extra maintenance, and a few other favors. Leaving the house I'm sure would've made her happy, but I'm afraid I'd come home and all our stuff would be gone.

My lawyer said she had heard of that happening. So, to protect myself I felt I couldn't give in to her request. Ironic, I thought about it today wondering if she was testing me.

Help! I can't take this emotional roller coaster much longer.

Bob