She listened at certain points she pointed out h actions. I blamed me, because h spew always blamed me. Remember the suppositories?
Yes I've looked at lots of narc stuff and h behaviours are very classically narc. Down to his narc dance, where h shrugs shoulders, shuffles feet and almost "dances" on the spot with a sneer! Or his empathy act where you tell him tragic shocking news about some one h hardly knew or met. The act is wait 30seonds for effect, clap hand over mouth while gasping. Then struggle for words, then q the dramatics of over the top acting.
He would never have "abused" me in front of witnesses, that would tarnish the carefully crafted image. He always expected me to change, to be accomodating.
Which I did, which I can do, yes I feel and felt h was unable if I'm honnest. I am looking to feel my worth to know where I stand, so that I do not fall prey to this type of r again.
Where by the things I need to sustain me are put on hold. I often had to put my needs for support in times of trauma for h needs or h son. There I felt was no exclusive us, but as I was doing the giving, which became that slippery slope, if just now push that a but past then push a bit further.
When ever I put my needs out I was called selfish h used to calmly talk of how selfish it would be for the one person to over ride the needs of 2 people both h and s25.
The introspection is about moving on to better pasture while proactively keeping your pastures in order. It's about recognising why I allowed it and what I do that attracted and enabled h for so long.
When I started the settlement I had accepted it, but the way h deals with things of this order isn't to deal. It's to bully, stall and muddy the waters. The fact I will need to prove every detail and list every damn piece of personal property some of which h denies he even has. Like stating I lost the stuff and now blame him.
I often lost stuff, but now I suspect h had an active hand. I lost a very sentimental piece of jewellery h gave me. I left it on the vanity, but it was never found. I had never lost any Jewellery before this. H stated xw always lost and broke very expensive pieces. See the connection?
His story is the same with 2 very different women. H will be very unlikely to change or take ownership. I did previous have hope, but reading so many of the narc type mlc stories I think any hope is very misplaced.
Next time with my next r I want to have a great m. Simple.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
