w came over today to clean the kids bedrooms, she watched some daytime tv and chatted like nothing has happened then did some washing.
i stayed a while and made an excuse to go out, she seemed curious as to where i was going, i came home 2 hours later and she wasn't here, 2 mins later she came back over an asked could she clean the bathroom tomoz while i was out, i said id rather do it myself which seemed to put her out.
during all this time ive noticed patterns in her behaviour, eg, after her night shifts when the interloper is working she has not gone home and slept at her mams instead, normally this happens every month or so and its not long before she says about trying to fix things and looks a bit rough and sounds down when we speak, then she will go dark again for a while, she seems to avoid me, mysteriously looks her best all the time and seems chirpy.
based on this ive come to the conclusion that when shes a mess and visiting me all the time she is having doubts about om and missing her family.
when shes happy, looks nice and avoids me is when shes having doubts about me and is full on with om.
my problem is i dont know how to be with her when shes having doubts about om and i could really use some advice on this.
obviously im still hurt and angry about it all and hopeless at hiding my feelings.
i cant seem to be natural with her knowing she is still seeing om and dont want to ask her if shes with him because she will say shes not, of course i know she will be lying and tell her so, then we argue, then she goes dark and the process starts over again.
at the moment im hoping that om will show his true colours and cut his own throat so to speak (i dont mind helping him ;-)it would be my pleasure)so we can at least try to work on things in peace, but it needs to happen soon.
shes always denied seeing om and only admits to it after being confronted with hard evidence, there are a few ways to look at this, the pros are, she must be having doubts about leaving me or she wouldnt care if i knew or not and she would be moving on.
the cons are she could just be keeping me on standby, this is why its hard to be normal around her, i might think things are going well and she could turn around and say its over, then the hurt will start again and it will prob be worse than before.
