Jim0987 #9 - Blackholes, cats and overanalysis

[Mozza]

Generally though she is just seething at me, nothing rude just nothing friendly. 24 hrs ago we were chatting reasonably so definitely think she knows about the snooping.

24 hours ago it was snowing here, but now that I moved my slippers in the bedroom, it stopped snowing so I definitely think it's the slippers.

It's amazing to me how you bring everything your W does back to you. I wonder if it's part of your condition, whatever it is. Anyway, your W has a full life with tens of things that can influence her behavior.

She is doing so much stuff now to make herself happy and I can't help but go 'why didn't you do this before?' (In my head obviously) I know her answer would be that I didn't let her but it's just not true. And its immensely frustrating that I see the only thing that stopped us being happy was us silently throwing blame around. And she is blaming me for it.

It's not you, it's the situation. Many of us do the same. I started working out daily (7 minute, as you know), I dress a little better, I changed my hairstyle a bit, etc. Is it because my W kept me from it before? No, it's because I was in a routine that's been broken by the S. We're creature of habits and these breaks in the continuum allow for us to do new stuff.

Also, remember that reality will sink in. She's not a new person. Everybody goes to the gym in January, nobody does in February. Maybe she will continue, but my point, again, is that it,s not about you. Let her go. Don't worry about her being happy without you, about you upsetting her, etc. We all think of the impact of our actions on our WAS, but in your case it seems to be stronger than average.

Anyway I really need to detach.

We all do.