Wonka - there are really three strands to this. The first is that I am in a much better place emotionally - quite a lot of stressful family related matters have been resolved, and also the passage of time is helpful.
I can now deal with my xh without freaking out: it also helps that although crazier he is being less nasty.
Finally this excellent book on narcissism does give some pointers to dealing with narcissistic behaviour.
I can always walk away from this situation the moment it starts to stress me out. We had a very long and happy marriage until the MLC monster roared in: I am now happy alone, do not expect him to change, but I am truly sorry for the mess he has made of his life.
Do I expect him to come out of it? No I don't, but i would like my life not to be torpedoed by his threats to do this, that or the other. He has really done most of the mean things that a person can do to another, short of physical abuse, and apart from a short period I never really worried about that (and it was probably unfounded)
The thing that has changed is that I am no longer afraid, and that is such a very good feeling. I didn't know how scared I was. I think it was the trauma, but now I am not afraid, I have a lightness of heart that is good to get back.
