Jim0987 #9 - Blackholes, cats and overanalysis

[jim0987]

Howling wind here.

I got home tonight and first question was about my solicitors. I answered factually but not in the way she wanted

Asked about her day with the kids, gave ne a very brief summary then told me how she wasn't going to ask for half the money toward S1s new shoes (glossed over all the stuff I pay for then - my issue isn't the money its the tone of martyrdom)

My response was to say nothing because I was annoyed - I should have said thank you because I'm grateful for her sorting his shoes out (she takes good care of the kids) equally I should have offered half before she had a chance to say anything. I'll say thanks when she gets back from the gym.

Generally though she is just seething at me, nothing rude just nothing friendly. 24 hrs ago we were chatting reasonably so definitely think she knows about the snooping.

She couldn't find her gym clothes and stopped one step short of accusing me of hiding her stuff to stop her going. After a bit of thinking I said they were probably hanging up in the laundry room, and they were but the seething stayed. Its like she thinks I'm gaslighting her.

She is doing so much stuff now to make herself happy and I can't help but go 'why didn't you do this before?' (In my head obviously) I know her answer would be that I didn't let her but it's just not true. And its immensely frustrating that I see the only thing that stopped us being happy was us silently throwing blame around. And she is blaming me for it.

The kids bedtime was just odd with wife half involved then talking about keeping out of the way. Both kids wanted mummy and D3 told me that mummy is her favourite and she loves mummy more than Daddy. I think my lower moods mean I haven't been as much fun for the last few months.

Anyway I really need to detach.