You simply need to refocus your efforts, Stacey. You are spending a LOT of energy on things you have no control over and things that can be viewed in a more positive manner. You are also mind reading a ton. You have no idea how wonderful H's life is. For all you know, he cries himself to sleep every night. YOU are putting these thoughts into your head, while you could be thinking of other things. I was the worst at building scenarios in my head, to help me be angry or upset about my failed marriage. I would dwell on history, how unfair it all was, how things should have been different, how miserable I was, etc. It becomes habit, and you need to change that. Just like any habit, you need to retrain yourself to act differently and think differently. When thoughts of H or your M come into your thoughts, shake them out as quickly as possible and think of something different. They are taking up space in your head that you can be filling with something more positive. The more you dwell on those unhappy thoughts, the longer you will be held in limbo, in unhappiness, and you won't be able to live the awesome life that is right in front of you. You have so many wonderful things to think about, if you can only change your perspective, just a bit.
What are you doing this weekend, Stacey? I want to hear your GAL plans.....
