Claire's dozen (#12)

[Lorelai]

And I'm also with you on how it doesn't seem fair that they can just leave and still have us helping them out with schedules, etc. I'm going to be perfectly honest, while I know, I know, I know, I know that my little ones having a healthy relationship with their dad is important no matter how I feel about the S/possible D, IMO, leaving your wife is leaving your family, no matter how many "visits" you schedule. My H says things like "look how well Christmas went! The kids were really happy! That shows the separation is working." But he isn't there when S4 is crying and asking why Daddy isn't here taking care of all of us anymore.
Is there anything you can do to sort of "treat yourself" while also making your life easier? Hiring an extra sitter, or what I'm doing today, having someone come to clean the house. It makes me feel SO much better, which is good for the kids and good for all of us overall. It also reduces my stress and allows me to spend more time with them. You are having to do most of the "grunt work" of parenting right now, many of us LBS are. So do whatever you can to take care of you right now. That's all you can do. Not sure if this helped.