Mozza: Do please post when you know more about Passive-Agressive insights. Calabri: my H is the same way.
Geeze it is hard to think of what to say as I have been in this position many times. You want them to stop making it about them! Just be sorry. Full stop. I so think it is tied to self worth as well....like H thinks he did a bad thing and he is a bad boy.
One of the things I know is when you validate in a way that says "I do not think of you this way..." it can also back fire on P-A or for people who think you are not listening and make them shut down. "I do not think of you this way" makes the person say or think well, she does not even know me or is listening to me.
Here is another version:
"I appreciate you saying you are sorry. You do not have to put your self down and say you are a bad person. I want you to know I think you are a great person. I am just (mad) at you for x."
