I do listen to you and try to take on board advice and put it into practice - especially the GAL stuff - I feel I seem to be repeating myself a lot - sorry.
I know I am not kind to myself - its something that does not come natural to me - as like most mums I have always put myself last in the queue, everyone else comes first.
I do know that its shock - the shock of it happening out of left field; people say to me - there must have been signs - but there really wasn't and I know only those here know exactly what I mean by that and believe it.
I know its grief - at the loss of my m and my h and my bf.
I know its me having to discover ME and who i am and what I want.
And I know there is an element of depression sitting there like a cloud and I am fighting so hard to not let it drape its darkness upon me and envelop me in its sadness.
So I am listening to you all, you are the only ones who truly understand what I am feeling and what has happened to my H and M. I appreciate you all giving me your support so thank you.
Gwen - I have not made any travel plans yet, just know that I want to do it .....no ...I AM going to do it. I need to decide how long I want to be away for and where I want to go. On the list - I would love to see the Northern Lights ,Ice Skate in Central Park, Go to the Ice Festival in China, Alaska, Niagara Falls, Grand Canyon, Rockies. Trek to base camp Everest. Do an Eat Love Pray trip ha ha ..... hmmmm. Asia, Africa, South America, learn to sail and crew on a boat somewhere exotic, learn to ski ...the list goes on and on and on lol.
The office job just rang me - they want a c.v sent off to them - so bang goes that job :o( this is where I fall down, every time - they want experience, but no one will give me experience. Catch 22. I have even offered my services for free so I can get experience, but I get looked at most strange as if to say - why would you want to work for free !! Ahhhhhh
