Job, thanks for your input. I have no illusions that he is still in the rabbit hole. I was in two minds to ignore him (which has been my more usual strategy unless I reasonably felt that not doing so would prejudice my legal case).
But ignoring him wasn't really working, in that he would continue to email phone etc. I had his email blocked for a long time. And the attention seeking behaviour was becoming more extreme, and costly for me to deal with.
I unblocked my email partly it because in November my BIL died, and I sent my xh condolences (this was his sister's husband, and not his own brother) A dear dear man, and I am also very fond of my nephew, who is close to my kids.
So I sent a brief condolence note, and received no response, but unblocked my email in case he did respond to something that it was normal to make contact for, and also because I now feel in such a good place that I can now deal with craziness.
So I get these strange emails over Christmas - they are crazier but less vitriolic than in the past.
What I have realised in these last exchanges that something has changed - in me. I can deal with this stuff. It doesn't bother me, and in fact following my last email, he has stopped contact.
To his claim of wanting a relationship with me, I asked him what this would like. I didn't react, I responded, appearing to take it seriously. From what I have read on the some of the latest thoughts on dealing with narcissistic behaviour (not sure I am allowed to cite the book) this is now considered a highly effective way to deal with narcissists.
Anyway, thanks for your response, I always appreciate your wisdom, and you may well be right, but I though I would try something new, rather than just walking away, I returned the ball using different strokes and put it in his court.
I can always return to my previous strategy, but it hasn't worked and it hasn't protected me. He has his fix, at no cost to me.
