Angry WAH blames me for everything.......(2)

[Calibri]

Hi everyone: thanks for stopping in. I would like to respond to all of you tomorrow, especially MCS who gave me a new perspective. I appreciate you all for coming in and checking in. I'm in a weird place right now.

I have a general question that's been rumbling around in my head. H has a habit of self deprecating comments, especially when resolving conflict. Ex: I'm sorry I didn't do x, I'm a bad person/husband, etc.

I don't feel like H is a as person, at all. I realize this stems from self confidence, but realize that he may feel that way because of me, perhaps perceiving that he's not living up to my expectations or what not.

How would one go about handling statements like that? I don't feel like it would be appropriate to validate, "yes, I can see why you feel like a bad person." But I feel if I say, "I don't feel like you're a bad person, that in a way, I'm not listening to him or imposing my thoughts and opinions on him. Which could be considered controlling?

My thought is, next time this statement comes up could I say, "I don't see you as a bad person, could you help me understand why you feel this way?"

Thoughts?

I look forward to posting to you all tomorrow. Again, thank you. :-)