No problem, I've been reading your thread for the last month or so. You've been doing great, I can definitely see your progress.
Yeah, I guess it's been a struggle. She knows me well enough (I even said it right before she left, but before I knew about OM) that I'm in this for the long haul.
Mind reading, but I'm at the point that I think if I push the 'move on' too much right now, she's so guilt ridden (especially because it seems the A is over) and she seems too timid and her self esteem seems so low, that she would be okay with that happening, because she could tell everyone that I gave up. Justifying she did the right thing with her thinking that I would have left when I found out the A anyway. She told me she never felt she lived up to my expectations and I always was in "control." So me seeming to be that way by moving on and not a little vulenerable, that it wouldn't be showing a 180 that I've tried to do.
I'm trying to work a careful line of trying to participate and connect with her enough to make her feel 'comfortable' talking with me because of the kids.
But, I've also said to her "this is your decision, you asked me to move on and I'm listening to you and that's what I'm doing"
My demeanor has been calm, collected and confident. Since all of our talk is about logistics of S, I've been factual and logical. However, I think this also counteracts some of her comfort with me, because me being this way could also be viewed as intimidating and trying to be in control of the sitch. Especially if she is feeling very unsure of herself and me. IDK
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
