Hello igit. I've been reading your sitch. Sorry it is down to the D wire for you. It seems like your W still thinks you are friends. That can be good right?
You mentioned she had an A. Is it ongoing and you're afraid of being a doormat? Then yes like Starsky says your should pull way back. Stop talking to her unless she talks to you... you know that sort of thing. Is your goal still to R someday?
Also, put some spaces between your paragraphs. It makes your story easier to read and you're likely to get even more responses.
Good luck.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014