Busting this Divorce - 90 Days NC #5

[HPoirot]

On not understanding... she told S12 that... even though she acts happy with him... she cried 4 times today. That she's really just acting.

I can be a better me. I don't know if calling her tonight was right. She left a text hanging about talking to S12s teacher. I called and she got to talk about it. She cries. She appreciates talking to me and it means so much to her. She apologizes for calling. She loves and worries for her son while she makes decisions that hurt him and hurt her. Her decisions are not about me so I shouldn't take them personally.

I want to give up. As I was writing that line about my family being in drama hell... I was thinking that exact thought you wrote Wonka... am I causing this? I know neglected my W and my M. But now. I'm fighting this so I'm causing this drama. These pages and pages of drama. All me right? If I just sit here like a monk and let this all slide off me... maybe she would share what she's feeling with me... maybe my son would feel more hopeful... maybe she would feel safe enough to connect with me?

Or am I just wet noodle again b/c my W who doesn't love me said how much she appreciated talking with me. When I didn't even say anything.

I want to give up. I want to give up on this person.

She just sent me an email. "Here's something that may be helpful for us both to remember when helping our boy navigate this new world," she says. A bulleted list of ways to help kids in a separation. First bullet... accept the separation.

I don't know how not to be angry with this.

I don't know how to sit here and feel content.

I can't tell her how I feel about getting this email from her under these circumstances. I just let it go.

This new world.