Court appt was relatively short and straightforward. Although uncomfortable for most because of the topic, they did a nice job of explaining the process and trying to help everyone through the start of it.
W was clearly emotional and upset during our time there. And was claerly uncomfortable/sad about it. She asked several times if I was ok and how I was doing - trying to start some relatively idle conversation while we outside the courtroom waiting to go in.
Were you real with her or did you remain stoic and quiet? I believe in STFU when needed, but there are times to show her how you feel. My intuition, which is often wrong, tells me you restrain positive emotions lot more than you restrain negatives like anger. Or maybe that's the past version of you.
But I thought you agreed you'd show more passion/pain the chance you got but I'm not sure you did.
At one point I would almost swear that she said something like "I really don't want to be here doing this" - I couldn't quite make out all of it but I think ^^^ is pretty close. When I asked her what it was she said "I don't want to say it again"
Originally Posted By: labug
Does your W look happy and carefree? This isn't easy for her and it indicates how unhappy she was to have to go through this. Yes, I know, she could have tried harder but I'll bet if I asked her she'd say, I tried everything.
Still thinking about this statement /question.
W is clearly still not happy - she was near tears a couple of times today while they were explaining the process.
Still leaves me with the question of if this is such a sure fire wy to her happiness why is she not more comfortable with moving forward???
She never said it was a 'Sure fire" way to her happiness.
She's torn, obviously. Instead of cornering her, why not ACT/SHOW how you are a different man but without making such an obvious show about it?
BE different. How would you say you have changed?
Why would she believe marriage to you could be better/different than before?
Experience tells me it's a rare woman with kids, who leaves a marriage unless something important was missing IN the marriage....or in her.
And since she sounds like someone who is trying hard to be happy, my gut says she did try to talk to you about things and her feelings.
Don't FIX her, listen, stfu and work on you.
I think she's on a journey that may not involve you for sometime. (See if you can find a book called something like "A Year by the Sea", or "The Gift of the Sea". One is by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, (yes, THE Lindbergh's) and the other was about a woman who sep from her h for a year for what seems like a big MLC.
It was a true story and they did reconcile. Anyhow, I think you need a lot of insights into more woman over 40. Many of us have deep oceans that we have not let others swim near or deeply... IMO, chances are good that she wants a meaningful connection w/someone, and for whatever reasons, does not think she can with you.
Any thoughts on your end about that?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
